I Don’t Tell You What You Should Do

I Tell You What I Think You Should Do. Then We Build It Together.

Most coaching is framed as instruction.

• Do this.

• Don’t do that.

• Follow the plan.

• Trust the process.

That model works...for a while. Especially if you’re new, uncertain, or looking for external structure, but it breaks down for the exact people I coach.

High-performing men don’t need more rules. They don’t need someone else’s morning routine. They don’t need a laminated plan they’ll quietly rebel against. They need clarity, context, and collaboration.

That’s why my coaching is not about telling you what you should do. It’s about offering what I think you should do- grounded in physiology, experience and pattern recognition- and then co-creating a system that actually fits your life.

The Problem With “Should”

“Should” is sneaky. It sounds helpful. It sounds responsible. It sounds like discipline, but psychologically, should creates resistance.

You already know this if you’ve ever:

• Bought a program you should follow but didn’t

• Built a routine that looked good on paper but died in real life

• Felt guilt instead of ownership around your health

“Should” implies external authority and high-capacity people don’t respond well to that for long. They want agency. They want buy-in. They want to understand why something matters—and decide how it fits.

What I Actually Do as a Coach

Here’s the real role I play:

• I observe patterns across thousands of hours of coaching.

• I understand physiology deeply—how stress, training, sleep, nutrition, and life load interact.

• I can see second- and third-order consequences most people miss.

So I’ll say things like:

“Based on your data, your history, and how you’re living right now, I think this is the highest-leverage move.”

Not:

• “You must”

• “You should”

• “This is the only way”

It’s a proposal, not a command. Then we talk.

Coaching as Collaboration, Not Compliance

The real work starts after the suggestion.

We explore:

• What feels exciting vs. draining

• What fits your current season of life

• What you’ll actually execute when things get busy

• What trade-offs you’re willing (and not willing) to make

The goal isn’t theoretical optimization, it's sustainable execution. A “perfect” plan you don’t believe in loses to a “good enough” plan you own—every time.

Co-Creation Is the Multiplier

When you help build the plan, something powerful happens:

• You stop performing.

• You stop pretending.

• You stop outsourcing responsibility.

You start saying:

• “This is my system”

• “This matches who I am”

• “I chose this”

That shift- from compliance to ownership- is where results compound. Not just physically, but psychologically.

Why This Matters More as You Get Older

In your 20s, brute force works. In your 30s, structure matters. In your 40s and beyond, alignment is everything.

You’re no longer optimizing for:

• Short-term aesthetics

• Ego-driven benchmarks

• Proving something to someone else

You’re optimizing for:

• Capacity

• Energy

• Longevity

• Presence

• Staying in play for decades

That requires nuance and nuance requires dialogue.

My Biases Are Transparent, Not Hidden

I do have strong opinions.

I believe:

• Strength training is non-negotiable

• Muscle is protective armor, not vanity

• Capacity beats intensity

• Data should inform decisions, not dominate them

• Training should support your life—not compete with it

I don’t pretend those beliefs are neutral or universal. I put them on the table. Then we pressure-test them together against your reality.

The Client Isn’t a Passenger

In my world:

• You’re not a follower

• You’re not a project

• You’re not a before-and-after photo

You’re a thinking, feeling, adaptive human. My job isn’t to control you. It’s to sharpen your decision-making, so you eventually don’t need me the same way. Great coaching creates independence, not dependence.

The Hidden Benefit: Identity Shift

When coaching becomes co-creation, something subtle but profound changes.

You stop asking: “What plan should I follow?”

And start asking:

• “What kind of man am I becoming?”

• “What systems support that identity?”

• “What’s the long game here?”

That’s where fitness turns into self-trust. That’s where discipline turns into conviction. That’s where health becomes a force multiplier for your entire life.

This Isn’t for Everyone- and That’s Intentional

If you want:

• Someone to bark orders

• A rigid program with no flexibility

• A coach to outsource thinking to

There are plenty of options.

If you want:

• A collaborative partner

• Clear thinking under pressure

• A body and mind that can support a big life

• A process that evolves as you do

Then we’ll work well together.

Final Thought

I don’t coach from a pedestal. I coach from the arena.

I’ll offer my best thinking. I’ll challenge you when needed. I’ll slow you down when restraint is the play.
I’ll push when the moment calls for it, but we build it together.

The most powerful plan isn’t the one I design. It’s the one you believe in enough to live by.